Commitment, Hold Nothing Back. “You have a unique and necessary gift to give.” – Charles Eisenstein
This has become my guiding quote. I find it lighting my actions with a fire I am called to tend to from a deep, core place. This place is from where my most authentic actions are offered. This place is MY GIFT. I am learning the honor and the challenges that come with that necessary responsibility of living in the world from my gift, sharing it, gifting my gift with my whole heart.
Giving my gift challenges my concepts of myself as “not enough:” not worthy of being chosen or heard, not smart enough, not this, not that, not, not, or that this plain old this is gift is not enough. Or worse, and often louder, I am not worthy of this gift.
Even though I realize I am not my tween self, I am essentially still fighting the fear of being the last one picked for the dodge ball team of adult life, or worse, that I should be called to captain that team. As a team captain, as a leader, I might let others down.
Augh, the inner tug of not enough-ness war finds many crazy handholds to unplug one’s living wholeheartedly a life from one’s center, one’s gift, and actively making the world “the more beautiful place we all know is possible,” Charles Eisenstein.
Just the sensing, finding, and sourcing one’s gift is a profound and “aha” moment in life. Your gift may be that you are a: leader, a seer, a nurturer, a teacher, a creative problem solver, a warrior of peace, or an inspiration.
Recognizing that there is something more powerful, good, unique and truthful than our old story lines and perpetual ways of responding to a world that constantly offers us opportunities to live in precise alignment to our old ways of being is a magical moment.
Those, however, who find their unique soul gift also find a wrestling match in the day-to-day between living alive from an wide open new story and an old fixed way so that one can actively confirm the inner voices of “not-enough-ness.”
The old story has a firm grip on one’s throat and voice, deep roots in the soul of our concepts of trust, and a huge padlock poised, ready, or even in place on heart that the old story would probably keep ‘safely’ closed. What blows my mind is that the old story is full of lies. Cognitively, I realize that my old stories are not true, full of a bends in a perspective I believed trustingly at the time. However, I have learned so much across time between then and now that those tales of woe are not even in the remotest sense true today. I KNOW that they are lies. Yet I, just like many I know, believe the lies and sometimes seek out people that offer the feedback to confirm them.
Wow. I feel that much of what holds our unique greatness back is a string of radical untruths that we have stitched into a gauzy blindfold to hold over our eyes, so that we cannot see the present experience for what the it is.
It is taking all I have to write this paragraph. I teach yoga. However, teaching yoga is not my gift. I am inspiring. Being an inspiration is my gift. Just putting it out there chokes me up a little and a little voice inside whispers forward, “delete that.” This time though, I will not. I will speak louder than that voice.
Somehow, through my crazy journey through a childhood I would not like to remember all of, a battle with cancer that left me unable to have children, near debilitating depression and anxiety, I found yoga. Yoga fed a passion inside and that passion called forward an urgency to share what I was learning and what I was gaining. I was gaining access to my gift. I was gaining an ability to inspire others past their gauntlet of self perceived limitations.
My teaching practice of yoga gave me my voice, and when I use it, share my real, people feel their own real, are moved, and strike back with their own power against their “not-enough-ness”.
By using my voice and sharing my shattered bits, other’s become less ashamed of their own. We all go to the next level. We ALL FEEL sacred blasts of connection and enough-ness, separately and together. By using my voice, by sharing my wobbles, I have learned I can get others to look under their wobbles, source the unique gift, and share it with a waiting and wanting world.
The world is calling you. There is always a time. The time is now. The world is calling on you now, not if not when, to live your gift, with me, with us, with confident vulnerability. You want to change the world? Look around, you already are. The world is different because you are in it. The world is waiting. The world is wanting for you to share your gift.
Please, for me, for we, share your gift.