Girl on Fire

All that I have and all that I am is all that made you run away.All that I have and all that I am is what you originally ran towards, the Arabian passion, great twisted, curled mane of unbridled want. My broken arrows that you asked to see, in our mutually selected practice of trust, I showed them to you. I showed you my broken because you asked me to trust. I had no idea you would pick them up, when I was not looking, and carry them in your own quiver. The weight of my truth held you down, back, under, veiled from your ability to see your separate hunt, purpose, and mission and the mystery of dream lit journey we were on together. Your absence of passion for me. I never knew. You never said. You would just chant, convince me…. That… let’s learn more, let’s keep going, keep talking, hunting for life, creativity, love, trust. I grew, I grew and felt braver at each crossroads, trips and falls, separately and together. You said you did too, but you were not aiming true, trusting me with your honest heart. You held me close, all the while wanting to go. With my wildly open soul-heart and willing spirit, I kept going. During our time, obstacle after obstacle grasped at my ankles to topple me over, attempting to beat me down. Each time I would come up and out swinging to take the next and important step, the one forward, fearlessly towards more rising demons, dragons, failures that slammed me down across the path I walked and when knocked down, wounded, desperately tear-stained, I would stand up straighter, stronger and wiser…. Though…. dropping broken arrows from battle behind me…. that you no doubt picked up and held in your own hands… Perhaps, each time, you felt the blows, as if they were your own, and felt the pain so keenly that you feared I was not enough, not enough of a ME to do what I proved I could be, ME. I never asked you to hold my pain, to carry me across narrow bridges, to slay the dragon, to be my hero to point me toward the rising sun. I am the sun I am lightness embodied. I am shadow. I am depth encased in wide-lidded blue eyes. I am light and shadow both. I am passion. I am what you seek. I am what you fear. I am what you will not let yourself feel. If perhaps you would have put your thoughts of holding me up, down, my broken arrows too, you could have opened your heart and touched it to mine to join the flames of passion that threatened to ignite your world into a glow, a burning fire of change and radical transformation. A new story. A great love. A heart fire we both could have tended, separately and together. Now, separately, I am me. Still me. Passion. Girl on Fire.