It is a Taoist thought that to align with the highest calling, one aligns to the flow of nature. This does not mean to “go with the flow,” nor does it mean to struggle and reinvent the manner in which water flows downhill. Hardly. From my very young study of this philosophy, it means, to me, to line up to the qualities of beneficence; or rather, to line up to the ideal that life wants to express itself as life, in the manner of simple to complex.
It is interesting to me that nature does not “waste” energy as it cycles from seed to shoot to bloom to fruit to seed. She expends just enough to burst the seed, to grow the flower, to share the fruit.
Each of us has fruit to share. Each of us has a “necessary and important gift to give.” – Charles Eisenstein, Occupy Love.
Harmonizing with our unique gifts and the manner in which a flower grows is something I can get behind in my head and my heart. I want to participate in the highest level of living and the optimal flow of normal and natural. It seems peaceful, kind, and simultaneously foundational and free.
My challenge in the adoption of the belief is densely rooted in past experience and the living practices that have resulted. To some anti-harmonious patterns, I seem dedicate in “practice” almost daily. I am a harmonizer; however, I am spending some serious energy harmonizing to habits that are not in the service of life wanting to live. I have some behaviors toward myself that limit my radiance rather than brighten it.
In a discussion with a sweet friend, it at least became a comfort to realize he does this too. However, two anti-harmonizers is DOUBLY SOOOOO notSOOOO ZEN!!! So the company we keep gains the added responsibility of serving to reflect back patterns that form negative intimacy, support mistrust, withhold affection, or otherwise diminish that which love actively builds.
I am a wobbly woman who has dedicated harmonies to some truly unharmonious ways of being and becoming. This is a vulnerable admission for a yoga teacher and serious practitioner. Though I have been practicing for twenty years, I feel a tiny sense (still) of “when does ‘easy’ show up?”I feel, almost, as if I have failed you and me a little bit.
In facing the lack of ease showing up, regardless of about 10,800 downward facing dogs, I was forced to get real and learn to be in relationship with my sense of lack. It was actually JUST a few years ago that I finally realized that I am not the serene voice at the front of the yoga room reflecting back that everything is a bucket of unicorn eggs. I could only continue teaching if I started to get real and talk about life the way it is manifesting for all of us, rather than trying to practice WITH the big elephant of imperfection in the room.
Even, though I began to source that the beauty of all of life is in the nobs on bark and scars on bodies and that my cognition and teaching platform caught up to rest in the chant of “I am enough” regardless of circumstance, the lackof enough-ness still creeps in from time to time and like a snail I feel a bit tossed back by the surf.
To manage my harmonization with “not-quite-enough-yet” I sometimes volunteer to (and sometimes wrestle myself) to turn to my mat, to my seat, to my altar, to my breath. True, I learn from my practice everyday. If I get really honest, I learn MORE from the moments of coordination LOST, those moments that take the breath away, and the instances when I realize I have been checked out for… how long!? It is in the action of remembrance that I learn a little more about me.
Perhaps I am a practice in practice.
It is not always easy to get here, to the mat, to the self, but the yoga practice (rather than my yoga preferences) shows me who I am and helps me connect with people the way they show up in my life. We each little practices woven into a big practice of learning to “source the life our hearts know is possible.”
My friend and I have formed a promise, a collective of two to both support and challenge each other in the commitment to practice the patterns that line us each up to life. We commit to, with great love, “out” the anti-harmonies of our pasts we see manifest in each other’s behavior.
Together, we aim not to change our flow, or ever become perfect, but to ask, is this behavior, this way of being… REALLY how a FLOWER would grow?
We are committed to this, “Let’s waste no more time.”
Let’s live and live fully, from the roots to the rise.